I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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