It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
