There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
