I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
