McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
