I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
