She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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