No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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