remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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