he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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