just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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