if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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