Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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