do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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