guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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