I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is this the sara with the beer cane?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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