I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
