I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
