I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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