No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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