it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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