i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this beer tastes like vomit already
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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