Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
