I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
