I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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