Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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