I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
