dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
