you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
