if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
