Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
