We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
