He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
