sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
