garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The dick lei will go down in squad history
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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