The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ketchup is God's man juice
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize