i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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