Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
