Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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