I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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