We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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