So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
