I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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