I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
