honey bunches of taint.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
