dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
