Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
