Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
