its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
