she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
