he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
