I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
